A Good Start to the School Year

As parents, we typically operate reactively to our children’s school performance. At the
first hint of academic problems we begin our efforts to encourage our children to make
the necessary corrections. Too often, by the time that we realize that there’s a problem
(often after reviewing report cards or getting a call from the school) precious few months
remain in the school year to correct the problem(s). In addition to the academic
challenges, these occurrences usually fuel family conflicts. Things can go from better to
worse pretty quickly.
A more effective strategy is a proactive approach and this is the time of year to begin
creating an effective game plan for the upcoming school year. The main components of a
good game plan include: effective parent-child communication, maximizing positive
incentives, ongoing feedback regarding academic performance, and good follow through.
1. Effective Parent-Child Communication: Now is the ideal time to begin this discussion
with your child – before the crises in school occur. Carefully pick a relaxed time when
everyone can communicate effectively. The focus should be positive not negative, for
example: “I think that this is going to be a great school year for you, let’s come up with a
plan to help you be successful.”
2. Maximizing Positive Incentives: It’s human nature to rely on threats and punishments
versus using positive incentives. The problem is that this approach is rarely effective and
often creates more problems than it solves. Consider the privileges that your child is
looking to increase (e.g. curfew, driving lessons, use of the family car, increased
allowance, etc.) and begin having conversations about linking these privileges to school
performance.
3. Ongoing Feedback Regarding Academic Performance: In addition to report cards,
there are several ways to receive ongoing feedback regarding your child’s academic
efforts. These include: regular conversations with your child (providing positive feedback
and praise whenever possible), obtaining teacher email addresses and checking in on a
regular basis, having your child bring a progress form around to all or select teachers on a
regular basis for them to jot a note along with a signature (all schools have these
available). Some combination of these usually works best, depending on your child. A
good rule of thumb is to focus more on effort than grades.
4. Good Follow Through: After developing a well though out plan, it is critical for
everyone to follow through with what was agreed upon. If the positive incentives are
motivating to your child there’s a good chance that they will follow through. It is critical
that the parent be a good model and follow through as well.